A debate about this topic will always remain split in half for years to come. Due to different beliefs and personal choices, opinions regarding cohabitation should be respected.
Society tells us that it’s the norm to live with your partner I, in fact it shows how serious the relationship is? Some may agree with this but many may also disagree. There are two sides to cohabitation before marriage as mentioned above, one needs to weigh the pros and cons when making this decision.
With culture and traditions in black communities, is it really as simple as our now society make it out to be? A lot of us grew up attending multiracial schools therefore we adopt certain things and times truly have changed. Our parents know that we basically move along with the times but how many are cool with letting their daughter live with her boyfriend? Some say it’s all about how you were raised and how strict your parents were and still are. Moving away from parental talk, how many ladies today feel “it’s not ok to live with him before he marries me,” Irrespective of our multiracial upbringing?
The benefits of living together are great because you get to experience your person under one roof. You see them as much as you want and get to spend a lot more time with them. You also get to know them better and see how they approach home life. Can they cook, do they clean, are they neat or messy, how do they budget, what they love to eat, you learn how to communicate better, how to share space and issues etc. The best part is getting to see if you could spend the rest of your life with them.
Where there’s a positive there comes negatives. Most women fear giving a man wifely duties and then he decides he won’t marry you. Gender roles are still pretty evident, men will have certain expectations with what his lady should be doing around the house. Research has apparently indicated that couples the live together before marriage are more likely to divorce quicker. Living together before marriage opens up the relationship to more fights, decrease in passion and infidelity.
Although opinions vary vastly with the above pros and cons, it’s ultimately a choice that couples and individuals make. We all do what’s best for us at the end of it all.
By: Zanele Mash